While citing the Bible, Trump urges congress to ban all sexual positions except missionary
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Trump has long been a Christian apologist, and although he has had his ups and downs with his own faith - he truly is a devout Bible literalist underneath it all. This is evidenced by his new talking point and push for congressional support of a bill with the sole purpose of keeping sexual relations Biblical. “Banning gay marriage isn’t enough - even married couples are acting out homosexual fantasies when they engage in sex such as ‘doggie style’ which was invented by Freddie Mercury.” He goes on to list all the sexual acts he has engaged in, including being urinated on, and says that through his experiences he has learned and knows “the best ways” to keep sex Biblical, and that it must be “locked down.” When asked how he will enforce his new bill, if passed, he suggested “we have ways, we have ways of surveillance - you know, the google homes, the alexas, the smart watches - we have ways of tapping in to data that was once considered private.”
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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