Kaitner’s disappear, local LV residents say they won the mega millions and just said “fuck this shit!”

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Billy and Tracye Kaitner, along with children, are rumored to have won the mega millions. Since then, they have disappeared. They left a note on their door stating “Fuck Y’all!” Possible sighting in the Maldives has been reported. Billy was seen wearing a thong and what seemed to be a large “package.” Tracye was seen with a bottle of rum, topless on the beach telling people “fuck you bitch!” We were told both boys are slaves on the families private yacht, having to cook, clean, wash and provide all services the parents ask for. If you are in the Maldives and see a guy with a large
“package” and a drunk topless bitch on the beach, please advise them to call home.
UPDATE:
There is a second family missing from Aransas Pass, Texas. Jason and Brandy Brown and kids are thought to be headed to the Maldives! So, be on the look out for two dudes in thongs with a “large” package and two drunk topless birches in the beach. Kaitner/Brown children would be seen doing chores on yacht.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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