Thumb wrestling in schools?

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 9693 Shares

Thumb wrestling in schools?

What was once thought of simply as a game played by elementary school students during recess is now being taken quite seriously. So seriously, in fact, that a handful of middle schools and high schools across the country are establishing programs for the sport, complete with competitions.

According to Spencerville High School superintendent Albert Thomas, "We started our thumb wrestling program in 2016 and are now in competition with six other schools in the Midwest. More schools are joining in on the sport every year. This is growing in popularity."

He's right. At the beginning of the 2016 school year, there were thirteen high schools boasting a thumb wrestling program. By the 2018 school year, that number has tripled, and even more schools have announced their intentions to follow these schools into the thumb wrestling realm.

Mark Ratner is the coach of the Gilbert High School wrestling team in Gilbert, South Carolina. He labored to convince the powers-that-be to let him set up the program. Now, two years later, his team holds the Regional Championship. "I'm really proud of my Sharks. They've worked hard by training, eating right and keeping a positive outlook. When we first started this team, the locals scoffed. Now, thumb wars, as a sport, is gaining their respect. Our kids have turned their opinions around and winning the title this year legitimized it in their eyes."

With more and more schools starting their own teams, one can only guess how popular thumb wrestling will become. If the fan base is any indication, the sky is the limit.

"I love watching thumb wrestling," declared Patty Simcox of Belleview, Nebraska, "It has action, it has drama and it'll put you on the edge of your seat. Plus, you don't have to sit for hours like you do in most sports. It's becoming my favorite sport."

The popularity of thumb wrestling was evident in 2009, with the founding of a professional circuit. You can learn more from this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXBIoTLVBFg

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

Most Popular

  1. 1

    bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio

    Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.

  2. 2

    new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town

    Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."

  3. 3

    whale spotted in illinois river

    A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.

  4. 4

    two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri.

    While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.

loading Biewty