Finger Lakes Due for Major Quake in 2019

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It's very rarely talked about, but the Finger Lakes region sits upon a fault line. The hush is likely due to the fact that the fault has made any rumble for 153 years. In 1865, the Earth quaked at a level that was likely at the level of 6 on the Richter Scale. However, since the quake happened on April 14, 1865, it was shadowed by a far greater piece of news- the assassination of President Lincoln.

Approximately 500 people died in the quake due to the collapse of homes and barns. Hundreds suffered injuries, especially broken and severed limbs as thousands of structures collapsed as a result of the violent shaking.

Now a local geologist from the University of Rochester, Dr. Carmala Garzione, claims our area will be suffering a similar fate within the next year. Garzione points to climate change as the catalyst for the upcoming event.

"As temperatures on the surface of the earth increase rapidly due to global climate changes, the heat is absorbed through the surface of the earth and the additional kinetic energy absorbed triggers the movement of the techtonic plates. Mathematical theory indicates that the increased amount of energy will cause a major quake most likely the summer of 2019>"

Local authorities have been warned to increase inspections of buildings which are either open to the public or serve as public housing units. Code enforcement officers have been given a stringent list of features to assess to ensure that people living in the twenty first century will not be crushed or maimed by a collapsing structure.

FEMA Supervisor, Charles Holden explained, "We have progressed exponentially since the Civil War period. We know how to fortify our structures and make them safe. Our main enemy is time. We have roughly half a year to inspect and invest in the appropriate modifications. It's fortunate that the code enforcement officers in Ontario, Wayne, Wyoming, Livingston, Seneca, and Yates Counties are such a dedicated crew of people. We are in good hands!"

Those in private homes may not be so fortunate. The danger that lies beneath our feet has only recently become a concern thanks to Dr. Garzione and her research assistants at the University of Rochester. As a result, most homeowners are not living in earthquake safe houses and this is a problem.

Homeowners need to reach out to local code enforcement officers, contractors or architects to have their house inspected for earthquake safety. There are simple reinforcements that can be installed that dramatically reduce the risk of building collapse in the event of another large scale quake.

To seek more information about local professionals able to offer a structural inspection, residents in the area can call this hotline number: 1-800-GET-HELP.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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