Zinke to approve fracking project in Yellowstone, despite volcanic warnings
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Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke is reportedly in the final stages of reviewing a proposal by a consortium of oil and natural gas interests to open up 85 of Yellowstone National Park to hydraulic fracturing and drilling. Environmentalists and conservationists have vehemently opposed the measure, and geologists had warned that such a project could disturb the super volcano beneath Yellowstone and cause it to erupt, covering a third of North America with millions of tons of ash, however Zinke had previous called such predictions "preposterous," and has publicly questioned whether volcanoes really even exist.
"As a geologist, I can tell you that the science is still out on the Yellowstone so-called super volcano," Zinke told the Senate Committee on Energy and Natural Resources on Monday, "and volcanoes in general."
Facing an enormous public backlash in the past few months after the scaling back of the National Monument at Bears Ears by over 90 and questionable association with industry executives, President Donald J. Trump has preemptively come to Zinke's defense in recent days, posting on Twitter at 4 o'clock in the morning, "Even if volcanos did exist (THEY DO NOT) there would be lots of precious magma beneath the surface of Yellowstone, which we need to power the hyperspace reactors of our Space Force -- which was my idea by the way. MAGA"
Scientists warn that fracking in a volcanically active area - which would involve pumping water into the tar sands beneath the soil - could cause seismic disruptions and open up lava flows into the surface. "This is enormously irresponsible and dangerous, I don't know why anyone would propose such a project. Literally everyone in the country could die from an eruption of this volcano. Is it really worth jeopardizing hundreds of millions of people's lives just to line the pockets of a few moneyed interests?"
Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wisc.) issued a statement saying, "Yes."
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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