Park Ridge House Leauge Basketball: Power Rankings (2-18-18)

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Park Ridge House Leauge Basketball: Power Rankings (2-18-18)

Quite the mundane weekend for house league, as the games went by rather quickly on the courts. Shoutout Lincoln janitorial staff for being a literal pile of shite, as the southern rim was tilted at a presumed 88 degree angle.

First game of the day was the 76ers and Nuggies. I wish I could tell you there was an exciting play in this game, I really do. Connor Alcock pt forth his best effort, but was ultimately drowned by the weight of his teammates performances. 76ers take the dub.

Second we had our beloved Kings against the Bulls. The Kings got off to a hot start, but the Bulls had a career shooting day in the second half, posting season high marks of 38 from the floor and 18 from the arc. Bulls take the win, Kings still in search of their first W.

Slotted in the 2:00 game we’re the Phoenix Suns and Cleveland Serbians, Yuck! The Cavaliers has the hot hand in this one, unfortunately, but they were met by a Robin Hood esque performance from Kerrick Hanrahan, who posted 34 points and blocked league league queer Ivaylo Tochev. His heroic show wasn’t enough however. Cavs win.

The Pelicans put forth a strong effort against the undermanned Celtics, but it was all for not. Gabel, Spyros, and Nate Crees explodes in the victory, pouring it onto the Pelicans throughout. The refs in this one were pure goat dick throughout for both teams, but nevertheless, 5’1 point guard Patrick Burke and the Pelicans fall. Celtics remain undefeated.

The trailblazers must’ve taken my comments last week to heart, as they came out angry and relentless against the wee Raptors. It was an admirable effort, but the Raptors ended up skimpering by Sullivan and the Blazers.

After the Jazz’s battle with the Wizards, they came out against the TWolves looming rather flat. Alex Olson seemed to be the only one having a good game, putting up 30 points and 56 rebounds. A late surge from Kevin Corcoran almost brought the upset, but it wasn’t enough.
POWER RANKINGS:
1. Celtics
2. Wizards
3. Jazz
4. Pelicans
5. Raptors
6. Trailblazers
7. Bulls
8. 76ers
9. Timber Wolves
10. Nuggets
11. Kings
12. Suns
13. Cavaqueers

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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