Palatine Park District Requests Special Referendum for Luge Track
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 34503 Shares
The Palatine Park District is requesting a special referendum for the purchase of land and for the construction of a Luge Track. The site currently being considered for the Luge Track is the old Menard’s store in the Northeast section on Palatine. The location has been mostly vacant since 2006 when Menards relocated to their current Long Grove location. The property was purchased by the village of Palatine for $8 millions dollars in the Fall of 2009.
Luge is a widely popular sport in Switzerland and the Norwegian countries in Europe. In Luge, athletes ride a one or two person sled down an artificial icy track. “Lugers”, as they are known, can reach speeds of 80-90 miles per hour.
Palatine Park District officials say that the popularity of Luging is dramatically increasing and that many nearby communities have already built Luge tracks. “Palatine is losing a revenue opportunity as many of our residents are going to other communities or Luging Clubs to find Luge Tracks”, says Palatine Park District Commissioner, Terry Ruff. The referendum is for $22 million, which would include the cost of purchasing the land from the Village of Palatine along with the cost of building the Luge Track.
A strong proponent for building the Luge Track is Palatine resident Lute Lundgrend. “In my native Sweden, every town has a Luge Track. It helps build character in our children and is a sense of community pride as towns challenge each other in Luging Tournaments in quest for the prized Frackförening Luging Cup. When asked about the safety issues with Luging, Lute admitted “there is some risk involved in luging, but fatalities have dropped in Sweden since 2015 when children under 12 were required to wear a helmet”.
A frequent vocal opponent of everything in Palatine, Jeremy Tedesco, said “I am adamantly opposed to building a Luge Track unless the Palatine Park District provides a separate changing area for “those Lugers” “.
A public forum to discuss the referendum will be held Thursday January 11th at 801 W Palatine Rd, Palatine, IL
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio
Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town
Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river
A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri.
While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.