MAN ACCUSED OF EJACULATING IN HIS BOSS’ COFFEE EVERYDAY FOR 4 YEARS

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 54974 Shares

Northport ,Alabama| A man was arrested on his work site this morning after it was discovered that he was ejaculating in his employer’s coffee every morning.MAN ACCUSED OF EJACULATING IN HIS BOSS’ COFFEE EVERYDAY FOR 4 YEARS

38-year old Lewis Williams spent the last four years working as the personal assistant of Ms. Linda Moore, executive president of the DANCO engineering firm.

Among his tasks as Ms. Moore’s assistant, he was to take her phone calls, set her schedule and bring her a cup of coffee to her desk every day when she arrived at work.

After a dispute with his boss this morning, Mr. Williams admitted in front of a dozen coworkers, that he had ejaculated in her coffee “hundreds of time”.

According to Brian Little, an intern who witnessed the entire scene, Lewis Williams showed no remorse while he confessed his crime.

“He almost looked proud when he told her: ‘I’ve been eating your shit for four years, but all this time, you’ve been drinking my cum!’ He then smiled and explained everything.”

The angry employee explained that he had been putting “extra cream” in Ms. Moore’s coffee, five days a week and over many years.

After his confession, his colleagues called the police and Mr. Williams was arrested on the site.

A total of 910 criminal charges has been filed against him, including 860 charges of sexual assault. If found guilty on all charges, he could face up to 1070 years in prison.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

Most Popular

1

bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio

Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
2

new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town

Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
3

whale spotted in illinois river

A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
4

two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri.

While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.