Solar Eclipse Rescheduled Due To Pending Hurricane Threat
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The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) has made the controversial decision to push back the date for the highly anticipated solar eclipse, based on the development of severe weather threatening the East Coast. NOAA spokesperson Linda Grandly addressed members of the media at a press conference in Daytona, during which she shocked members of the press with the news that the eclipse would not go on as originally scheduled. Grandly explained that the hurricanes would require the full attention of the NOAA, and that personnel simply could not be spared to oversee the spectacle of an eclipse.
Under a withering barrage of questions, Grandly acknowledged the historic significance of the eclipse. However, she steadfastly stood by the NOAA's decision to postpone. "This solar event poses a health risk... people improperly viewing the eclipse may cause serious, permanent damage to their eyes. Many of them being children."
According to Grandly, the NOAA had set aside significant resources to educate the public and monitor those viewing the eclipse. Those resources are now being used to monitor hurricanes and tropical storms. The organization concluded that the threat to the public was too great, and it would be irresponsible to allow the event to proceed without any oversight. Officials plan to set a date in late September, when conditions are expected to be more suitable. Several key NOAA personnel are also expected to return from vacation in September. Grandly left the press conference; ignoring a series of questions she was peppered with on her way out.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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