Pablo Escobar Has a Daughter We Didn't Know About?!?!

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 80379 Shares

Pablo Emilio Escobar Gaviria, a Colombian drug lord and "narco-terrorist" (hatersgonnahate) . His cartel supplied an estimated 80 of the cocaine smuggled into the United States at the height of his career (NO COCO NO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cs-yk2p_6BU).

Called "The King of Cocaine" and was the wealthiest hero or criminal (y'all believe what y'all want), in history, with an estimated known net worth of US $30 billion HOE by the early 1990s (equivalent to about $55 billion as of 2016),[4] making him one of the richest men in the world!

Escobar grew up nearby Medellín (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6Yo4Irt04A).

He began to work for various contraband smugglers, often kidnapping (holding people in his home, ALIVE, yes ma'am) and holding people before beginning to distribute powder cocaine himself, as well as establishing the first smuggling routes into the United States in 1975.

Yes

In 1982, Escobar was elected as an alternate member of the Chamber of Representatives of Colombia as part of the Liberal Alternative movement. Through this, he was responsible for the construction of houses and football fields in western Colombia (HELPED LOS POBRE), which gained him notable popularity among the locals of the towns that he frequented.

However, Colombia became the murder capital of the world, and Escobar was stalked by the Colombian and American governments. Hear that, stalked? He was a victim my dukes. In 1993, Escobar was shot and killed in his hometown by Colombian National Police, one day after his 44th birthday.

Spic spoke politics

AND GUESS WHAT

After relentless work to get his life story right, we have unveiled saucy info.

Pablo Emilio Escobar Gaviria had a daughter named Michel aka Colu as she calls herself

That's all we have so far, but tune in
To watch this Novela coming in late December starring

Jennifer Lopez, Shakira, Marc Anthony and Luis Fonsi

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

Most Popular

1

bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio

Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
2

new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town

Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
3

whale spotted in illinois river

A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
4

two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri.

While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.