Squankum Pizza slated to open in Monroe
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 68025 Shares
Squankum Pizza plans to open its new Black Horse Pike facility this coming fall. "We understand there is heavy competition among who makes the best pizza in town", says owner, Pepe D. Slice. Slice's comment refers to the often contested discussions found on the Facebook group Williamstown/Monroe Twp Talk. Essentially, the residents of Monroe seem to be split on who makes the best pizza according to some posts observed in the Facebook group. In the north end of town, residents seem to favor the cheesy delights of John's Pizza. In the middle of town, establishments such as Hwy 42, Nicks, Palermo's and Antonio's seem to be preferred venues for the crusted round sensations of cheese, sauce and toppings. As you travel toward the south end of town, Milano's, the Shoppe and Randy's pizza seem to dominate the Naples-birthed Italian delight. Of course, Monroe is also supported pizza franchises such as Papa John's and Domino's.
Squankum Pizza plans to offer a unique spin on the pizzas they create. "We understand that not everyone can eat the traditional 8 slice pizza", says Pepe. Therefore, Squankum will custom slice your pizza to accommodate the amount you are able to consume. "If you can't eat 8, we'll cut it in 4 for you", Slice added. Squankum Pizza will be able to slice all pies to a maximum cut of 36 slices to accommodate even the largest families.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio
Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town
Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river
A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri.
While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.