Your food hates you!!
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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The consumption of food has been going on for about 40 years. Before that, humans used to live on petrol (diesel of they were vegetarian). It has now reached the point where food is turning against us.
"Just last week my potato letters called me a Prick" said Gold Kanesmith of Forddart.
Our local news team loadofbollox went down to the set of the recently released film "Sausage Party" to interview the cast and find out their opinions on the situation.
The cast members, who wish to remain anonymous, were quoted saying "It's malevolent what is foods have to go through! The carrots have to watch their babies being eaten, the potatoes are skinned alive and then boiled to death. But the worst one of all is when some sick, twisted crackhead decides he's going to shove a whole cucumber up his arse and then feed it to his family."
The president of Hungary, and his associate mayor McCheeseburger have formed a petition which they plan to have signed by all foods everywhere to have them recognised as citizens instead of fuel for the human body.
We will be keeping you updated on this story over the next few weeks.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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