The bait got to much for David 'egghead' Williams when he was caught in the act fisting a dead turkey
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 16341 Shares
As all of his friends knew he was a very bait guy but none of them knew he was this bad. It was on approx 12.45 GMT that David, 22 of the E-state 28, Strood was caught out of his pickle on his favourite beverage Stella Artois by one of his friends (who wishes to remain anonymous). The firend quoted to David 'are you feeling alright mate?' David then replied 'NAH BREV NOT FUCKING HAVING IT NAH'. David then proceeded to storm off in a tantrum as his friend described going towards a barn filled with turkeys a witness said they see him grab one and rip its head clean off and then proceeded to ram his fist clean up its arse until the turkey was screaming COCKADOODLEFUCK! and then eventually died. Even when its was stone dead he then seemed to ram his fist to the point it was at his elbow and his hand was coming out of the turkeys mouth. The police then rushed to David and restrained him to the ground with the turkey still stuck on his arm with David screaming 'NAH FUCKING TURKEY MUGGED ME OFF AINT HAVING IT NAH'. David,22 of Strood has been remanded into custody until further notice. RIP Terry the turkey who will be sadly missed.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio
Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town
Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river
A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri.
While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.