Nebraska corn dust,causing serious mental issues.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 61194 Shares
Lots of "Nebraskins" have been tested this past week due to a mass outbreak of what can only be described as just plain looney tuniness!! Turned out everyone with symptoms turned out to be ,only, the crazy leftist types.Weird indeed, hmmm..Scientists have found corn pollen dust,to be the main cause of their brains being misformed over time.This condition being loosely labelled as "corniness syndrome"by Charlotte Tucker,a 55 year old cornologist flown in from ohio,she studies the effects of corn dust on farmers who go out and pull the corn down with their machinery at the O.A.R.D.C in Wooster ,Ohio.
"It only effected the democrat farmers my studies have shown" and all she can figure is the fact democrats are not as intelligent as other folks,and tend to be "mouth breathers", so they inhale the dust in larger quantities.
Studying some history,It has been believed that this is what happened to the MAYAN civilization.Corn was their major crop and over time it made them all fight and kill one another over politics,the ones less affected migrated to peru and began growing other crops more than corn.Which led them to surviving.
Now the state may be requiring the farmers to spray a chemical called lascatine on the crops which will bind to the fine dust the hulls let off as they age,and it will be to heavy to be blown through the air.Charley Porter a local farmer,a fellow I interviewed as Charlotte returned back to his field she is studying.He said locals do see this is a major issue,and the towns and cities throughout Nebraska are hoping the reduction in this airborne agent will bring folks back into reality and realize this.."Trump won,he is here to stay,and no amount of inhaling corn dust will change it."
As I crossed the state line in my rental car,with Nebraska in my rearview ,my final thoughts,"Good luck corn nuts,hope you get off the dust soon before you go completely mad!
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio
Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town
Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river
A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri.
While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.