Ofallon Missouri Amp tech voted coolest person on Earth.
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An Ofallon Missouri amplifier technician has been voted by the people of earth as the coolest person alive. https://www.facebook.com/davetheampguy
Tales of his legendary coolness and amplifier skills have traversed the globe, reaching every last person on earth.
A few of his exploits mentioned in polls...
He gave his father “the talk”
His passport requires no photograph
When he drives a car off the lot, its price increases in value
Once a rattlesnake bit him, after 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake finally died
His 5 de Mayo party starts on the 8th of March
His feet don’t get blisters, but his shoes do
He once went to the psychic, to warn her
If he were to punch you in the face you would have to fight off a strong urge to thank him
Whatever side of the tracks he’s currently on is the right side, even if he crosses the tracks he’ll still be on the right side
He can speak Russian… in French
He never says something tastes like chicken.. not even chicken
Superman has pijamas with his logo
His tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries
The circus ran away to join him
Bear hugs are what he gives bears
He once brought a knife to a gunfight… just to even the odds
When he meets the Pope, the Pope kisses his ring
His friends call him by his name, his enemies don’t call him anything because they are all dead
He has never waited 15 minutes after finishing a meal before returning to the pool
If he were to visit the dark side of the moon, it wouldn’t be dark
He once won a staring contest with his own reflection
He can kill two stones with one bird
His signature won a Pulitzer
When a tree falls in a forest and no one is there, he hears it
He once got pulled over for speeding, and the cop got the ticket
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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