Hero Saves School Full of Children
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Earlier this morning a local school had to be put under lock down after reports of a "zombie God" sighting. This "zombie God" was threating to shove a purple dildo up the children's asses if police got involved. After what seemed to be hours all thought hope was lost. However, there was one man who refused to give up. Local hero, Dakota Alexander better known as "haloguy1300" decided that he would be the one to stop this "zombie god". Haloguy confronted zombie god and a battled persude. Five days of non stop fighting between these two titans followed. However, at the end of the fifth day a winner was decided. Haloguy stood over the dead corpse of zombie god who now had a purple dildo in its ass. He had done it, Dakota saved Christmas. The town rewarded this young hero with a trip to the local McDonalds. God bless you haloguy1300 your heroic tales will never be forgotten.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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