SHOCKING Developments in Kerrville Texas that YOU WON'T BELIEVE !!!
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In an INCREDIBLE and SHOCKING turn of events in Kerrville, Texas, two seemingly unrelated stories from the town have merged into one UNBELIEVABLE EVENT.
You may recall the breaking story from just over 48 hours ago where a beloved Hill Country Resort Guru James Dumas was hospitalized at Sid Peterson Medical Center with a life threatening injury, and thousands poured into and around the hospital showing support with gifts, flowers, candles and singing songs. It was a heartfelt human interest story as much of the nation showed sincere concern for the well being of a national celebrity, known and loved by much of the world.
Then you may recall the seemingly unrelated story that broke just yesterday, where hundreds of dogs were assembling near Sid Peterson Medical Center in Kerrville for no apparent reason. There was speculation that the dogs were members of the RLA (Radical Liberal Animals) and were about to stage a "Trump is Not My President" riot. Local authorities stated, in a press conference, that this type of action would not be permitted in Kerrville.
Well, today, the two stories came together in an exciting and incredible way, when the dogs STORMED Sid Peterson Hospital. They were united and coordinated with the precision of a Navy Seal operation, and successfully extracted Mr. Dumas from the hospital. Spokesperson and coordinator of the military-like operation, Nicole Thudog, issued the following statement to the media:
"We believe that doctors at the hospital had discovered James' superior intelligence and abnormally large brain while diagnosing his life threatening injuries. We also have reason to believe that a brainectomy was being scheduled where James' brain would have been used in a much needed transplant for President-elect Donald Trump. That is when the newly formed TURD ( Texas United Resort Dogs ) went into action to make a precision extraction of Mr. Dumas. He is now safe and back at the Resort, where he belongs, and where he is loved by all animals and humans. He and his brain are both intact and are safe at the Resort that is currently under surveillance and protected by the TURD."
Local authorities are investigating the event. No charges have been filed at this time as the hot and swift movement by the TURD appears to be a heroic and non-criminal action. No one was harmed in the action, although many patients and bystanders were licked. One bystander stated he was briefly humped by one of the dogs, but said he unexpectedly enjoyed it. There are rumors of a Parade and a new annual James/TURD Day Celebration. Unfortunately, Mr. Dumas' rib still hurts every minute of every day and will likely continue to hurt for another sixty days or more. He was unavailable for comment as he was swept away by the pack of dogs.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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