Chicago Man Arrested After Trying to Fight while Naked

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 44189 Shares

Chicago Man Arrested After Trying to Fight while Naked

A Chicago man has been taken in custody today by Berwyn police in the Town of Berwyn. After numerous reports of a the man now identified as Eddie Flores (50 years of age) for breaking into yards and loving hoes in the neighborhood. The man has been charged with Trespassing and Animal Cruelty. One witness claims "So I woke up one day went to go get the paper. When i hear my Bitch crying and whimpering out in the back yard. So I go to see whats going on. When I arrive I see the naked guy fucking my bitch. Immediately I rush him but he had his dick out. And I ain't gone fight no man with his dick out. So he got away". The suspect has hit numerous houses in the neighborhood and has finally been apprehended after A store camera caught him in the act. The suspect has claimed innocent as he has claimed "that he loves them and that bitches ain't shit. The man is due in court on Monday to face the charges brought against him.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

Most Popular

  1. 1

    bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio

    Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.

  2. 2

    new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town

    Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."

  3. 3

    whale spotted in illinois river

    A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.

  4. 4

    two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri.

    While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.

loading Biewty