SoHo residents reporting sights of strange creature lurking in shadows
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 90144 Shares
Reportings of a strange creature, who appears in apartments in the middle of the night have some SoHo residents on edge. Police have been called several times to investigate home invasions, only to find a peculiar culprit with a unique description.
"I woke up, because I felt something at the end of my bed," A SoHo resident, who does not wish to be named says, "I noticed it was making a noise. Almost like, it was smacking it's lips at me."
What this resident says next sent chills down our reporters' spine.
"Then, this creature slithered up to me and started kissing me. Uncontrollably. Just kissing me, over and over and over again. Kiss after kiss. I tried to push it off, but the kisses just wouldn't stop. They just wouldn't stop," she recounted. "I think it was a Kissing Worm."
The NYPD are urging anyone who experiences a run in with the Kissing Worm to call the NYPD. The NYPD says there is nothing to be worried about. While alarming, the Kissing Worm is not dangerous - it just wants to give a little love.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio
Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town
Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river
A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri.
While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.