Joliet man arrested for marrying 50 women after winning lottery.
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A local Joliet man who recently won the lottery conducted a private ceremony on his estate where he was married to 50 women. James Lewis, professionally known as Joliet James stated, " I always wanted my own harem of bitches at my beck and call, now that I'm richer than a chocolate cream pie I made it happen son!" Some of the family members of some of the women who are barely legal are contesting the marriages as invalid. Trisha Patterson the mother of a 19 year old woman who was married to Lewis during the ceremony said, "that ____ is fine and has a lot of money and all that, but my baby needs to be married to a ____ that only wants to focus on her and her 3 kids." Patterson's daughter and a few of the other women have responded by saying that they are perfectly happy with the arrangement, and have been pleasantly surprised at how much attention he gives each one of them. "He puts his thing down like a man is supposed to," said Cece another of Lewis' new brides. Lewis responded to the allegations of the marriages being illegal due to Illinois state laws concerning polygamy. "Haters" he responded. "I got paper stacked to ceiling so they don't want to see me shining," said Lewis. When asked what his future plans were Lewis replied, "I have to find a way to hide my phone and erase my history." "A couple of my wives are really slick and with so many of them, some of them are always up, always watching, they make it hard for a _____ to find some new hoes ya feel me?"
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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