Local well known Westlake Hood Rat found strangled to death

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Alexis Torres, better know to her family and close friends as 'Hoelexis Deepthroat' was found strangled to death by the water in Mcarthur Park late last night. Authorities said "she was a well known prostitute in the area" and that "it was only a matter of time before one of the Johns or her excessive Meth Amphetamine use killed her off..either way she had it coming."
Her family and close friends are in mourning of the colorful sluts life, best friend Allison Del Rosario is throwing a 2 day flyer party in celebration of her life stating "I'm gonna party hard, do lots of drugs and fuck random guys all night. Because that's what she loved to do and what she lived for. It's a tribute to her.. I'm crushed but I can not mourn, I must only celebrate." Truly tragic news for this Los Angeles community.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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