Newport Teen Arrested for Streaking, Sent to Hospital with Minor Injuries
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The Tigers of Newport, New Hampshire had experienced an odd phenomenon with one of it's seniors, Noah Wood, after playing their last home game today. Wood, who is unable to play due to a knee injury, watched from the sidelines; cheering on his team. It wasn't until the final buzzer had sounded when things had gotten unusual at Maryn Field. According to reports from witnesses at the scene, and a detailed police report, Wood had stripped himself of all clothing and began to run in circles around the school parking lot. "I was very confused at first, but then I realized it was Noah, and I kept on walking to my car." Said a family friend who had attended the game. "I've never seen him run so fast!" Exclaimed a former teammate with an impressed expression.
Many enjoyed Wood's proud prance, and began to record his episode. Some did not love his nudity as much as others, and the police eventually arrived to detain Wood. After fifteen minutes of chasing him around the school parking lot, police eventually tackled Wood and proceeded to handcuff him. Upon being tackled, Wood's front-side had scrapped along the pavement, leaving him injured. When police became aware of Wood's injuries, an ambulance arrived and took him to Dartmouth for emergency penis replacement surgery. Luckily for Wood, and his genitals, he came out of the hospital with nothing more than what he described as "rug burn." Wood will be arraigned in court for 69 counts of public indecency, and for being a cutie pie.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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